“Happily everafter”, is a myth

Published on: May 03 2016 by Administrator

myth“Do you feel the same for him?” she asked. It was not the first time I was being asked this question, especially from her, and it was not the first time I was lying to her.

“No,” I shook my head. She knew that I was lying and that I would never admit my true feelings. She threw me that annoyed look, grabbed her mug, and headed towards the canteen. I continued to sit there after she left, taking in what had just happened in the conference hall. The argument I just had with the client could cost me my job from marketing manager to ex-employee. Whatever the cost is, though, it’s worth the satisfaction I had when I stood up for him.

I have known him for six years. From schoolmates to college colleagues, I have seen all his ups and downs, highs and lows, his strengths and his weaknesses. I have observed him as much as a poet observes his poems. Over the course of the years we have both changed. I have become firmer in my opinions and he has become clearer about his ambitions. I have not lost the child in me and he has gained more maturity.

There are some things that are still the same, though, like the magic in his smile, the honesty in his voice, the sparkle in his eyes. We rarely get together these days, expect in work meetings, but his presence still has the same magic on me as it did on the first day of our college. Some things haven’t actually changed because even today I cannot do a presentation while having eye contact with him—my mind goes blank and my heart skips a beat.

“Why didn’t you say yes to him?” she asked as she set her coffee on the table. Her question shook me from my thought and it took a moment for me to snap back to the present. I was not anticipating this question from her once she returned from the canteen. In all these years, she had never asked me this question, not even when everyone else in the college was shocked and was gossiping about it. Their reaction was natural, because it was me who made the first move. It was me who confessed my feelings for him.

But when he finally replied after six long months, I could not say yes. I simply could not picture myself happy with the man I loved so much. I could not commit. Everyone heard the “no,” but no one knew the reason, and I didn’t tell anyone.

For everyone else, he was a perfect individual, the most perfect partner anyone could ever ask for. He had an intelligence everyone appreciated, a personality everyone admired, and a smile anyone would fall for.  He was the type of person always seen as an example of goodness to those around him.  In the six months he made me wait for a reply, though, I came across a different side of him, a not-so-innocent personality concealed behind his innocent smile.

I saw a person for whom his own priorities were more important that anyone else’s emotions. I saw his attitude turn into arrogance. I noticed him getting more and more pompous as a result of the unending compliments, his impudence winning over his senses and his self-confidence turning into self-obsession.

I still can’t say if what I did was right, and whether or not he really was a bad person, but I was sure that he was not the one I wanted to be with.

She again called me to get me back from my thoughts. Finally, breaking my 4 years of silence, I answered her, “Because happily ever after is nothing but a myth.”

 

Prabina Neupane

Class of 2016

Filed under: Fiction